"Becoming"

There are important times in your life where you feel something needs to be changed. You feel uncomfortable and angsty. Something big and traumatic might’ve happened or you may feel something pulling you. Or something pushing you. Something has to change.

You may not like what’s going on inside. There may be hurt anger, fear, confusion, or sadness, You are stuck in it. You don’t have the emotion, the emotion has you. That is a crappy place to be because as someone said “wherever you are that’s where you are. It’s hard to get away from yourself.”

So you adapt and develop strategies. You decide you are going to grow; become something bigger and better; you are going to overcome. Your heroic will tries really hard, but nothing sticks. Sometimes, its too much and you give up ...

...or you might keep spinning with it. You might try to do new things or tell yourself more stories to fix this that doesn't get you very far. It can be exhausting that circle of thought where you try and try, but deep underneath something inside you knows the truth that you’re not gonna get there this way.  As Einstein said "problems can never be solved by the way of thinking that first created them. "

So ... Don’t be a Lonely Hero. It’s time to stop being so heroically independent and get an outside brain to help you. Nobody can get themselves unstuck alone. As you keep thinking alone you just get more of yourself, your own circle of thoughts. Someone needs to help you slow down, to find a different way of thinking , and to deeply listen to your emotions so that your emotions can find their proper space in your life.  Like most people you probably need to examine your "inner critic," that part of you that judges you inside. You may need to figure out why it’s judging you so harshly and give it a different job. If we can slow down the forces inside that fight against ourselves, that pull away our energy, we will be able to use that energy for something else more useful in our lives.

That’s what therapy is truly about for me. It’s not about accumulating strategies to solve problems. You are not a "robot" in need of "fixing." Instead it's about slowing down enough so that you can be curious and really see the amazing depths of yourself. Its about stopping the fight with yourself. It’s about freeing your energy up. It’s about finding your calling. It’s about making your life more full. It’s about becoming more yourself, really yourself, instead of what you were told to be. It’s about the life long adventure of becoming.

And that’s why I put that word under my name in the Logo.